Things I have done so far to prepare for my trip:

1. Made a list of things to do before my trip.

2. Started doing them (see below).

3. Got jabs for Hepatitis A, Typhoid, Tetanus, Diptheria, Polio, and Bad Taste. The latter will make me start foaming at the mouth if I attempt to sing ‘Midnight At The Oasis’ in an American accent at any point during my stay.

4. Sent copies of my music charts to Malaysia, so that the pianist can get a heads-up on learning the tunes. Unfortunately, however, they will take a week to get there.

5. Organised leaving drinks.

6. Booked a room at the Sheraton Heathrow the night before I fly out. This makes me feel both a) grown-up and b) decadent. I mean, just take a look at it above - it looks like The White House. In Hounslow.

7. Organised the freelance work I’ll be doing remotely while I’m abroad. Namely, writing more of this nonsense.

8. Met up with two friends who have been to Penang - one of whom actually stayed at the hotel, it turns out, just before Christmas.

9. Ordered Lost In Translation from Amazon.

10. Told several people that yes, that is my bottom at the top of this page, not Scarlett Johansson’s*.

Hopefully I’ll hear from the Baily Wellygraph (see previous post) this week, too - which means, one way or another, I can either get really cracking on this blog, or be prepared to write for theirs. I think it’s unlikely that they will want me, but hey… If they don’t, I’ll just sell the book and film rights when I get back. As long as my adventures are hilarious, and have a happy ending.

*This is not, strictly speaking, something which I have done in order to prepare for the trip, admittedly.

…is that I may have a major newspaper interested in me blogging about my time in Penang for their website.

Which would make this here blog defunct.

And which is all rather exciting.

I’m not at liberty to divulge which major newspaper it is, but here are some clues:

a) My parents read it. In fact: most parents read it.

b) It has a very good blogs section (not that my/your parents would know).

c) It rhymes with ‘Baily Wellygraph’.

Should the Baily Wellygraph not want me to blog for them, I will be posting here, daily - and announcing my presence as loudly as possible to the online world, have no fear!

Hopefully I’ll find out shortly whether they do, indeed, want me. In the meantime, just to be considered is slightly thrilling. I mean, even the wonderful Andrew Collins has just got excited about getting his first piece published in the Baily Wellygraph (see his post from December 6).

<Insert postage stamp here>

So, I’m off to Penang at the end of the month. I’ve never been to Asia, let alone the subsection Malaysia, before. The furthest east I’ve ever been is Prague.

As a young girl, I had a penfriend in Penang. She used to send me postcards of this exotic, colourful island, and some really great stickers. I used to send her postcards of Wolverhampton town centre, and some slightly rubbish stickers. Unfortunately, though, I can’t remember her name, so I won’t be able to look her up. Which is a real shame, because British stickers have improved hugely since then.

I’ve travelled in Europe and North America, but never to anywhere remotely exotic before (although Las Vegas comes close). As the agent who booked me on this gig - who will henceforth be known as ”T” - told me: you don’t work in Asia for the money, you do it for the experience.

Hopefully he meant that in a good way.