Things I’ve learned in my first week
- Malaysians drive on the same side of the road, and have the same plugs, as us. (These two facts are not related, except in their Britishness).
- It’s cloudy nearly all the time in Penang. When the sun breaks through, you feel the sort of heat you feel when you’re standing with your face too close to an open hob flame. Or on a regular basis if you’re a blacksmith.
- Things are very cheap in Malaysia. (I had a big salad and a fruit platter on room service, and it cost me £5. Imagine! And that included a tip.)
- The Malaysian climate is not conducive to walking.
- As a result: Malaysians are big on cars.
- And scooters.
- Malaysians address women by their first names prefaced by “Miss”. Hence, I am “Miss Andrea”. But then, people’s first names can also be their last names. I haven’t quite worked this one out yet.
- Malaysian cats are teeny tiny.
- So, in general, are Malaysians. They are in direct proportion to their cats.
- In Malaysia, you have to learn how to cut meat with a spoon.
- Unless you’re dealing with the fruit platter in your hotel room, in which case you have to learn how to eat fruit with a knife and fork.
- Malaysian women really like their beauty treatments.
- Malaysian men really like ordering a whole bottle of whiskey from the bar, which they promptly sit down with, share and finish off in one night.
- Laptops demagnetize hotel room keys.
- Michael Buble is very, very popular in Malaysia.
February 5th, 2008 at 5.14pm
bit disappointed its not sunny all the time……..
February 5th, 2008 at 5.15pm
just have to annoy you in stead
February 5th, 2008 at 5.16pm
maybe I’ve been unlucky with the weather. it’s raging sunshine today
February 5th, 2008 at 5.24pm
In the UAE ‘Mr’ or Miss’ is also used, with first name. No one can pronounce Hugh. This results in the epithet Mr Huge, which he rather likes. The Emiratis, Malasians, Indians, Pakistanis, Egyptians, Sudanese, Filipinos, Iraqis, Iranians and Afghans that he works around don’t see the inuendo but do giggle (they’re mostly women, being nurses) at the naughty realism of this statement (he’s a lot taller than most of them). He, and the Australians, New Zealanders, Canadians and Irish all smirk away to themselves. The South Africans and his next door neighbours from Middlesborough are rather more verbose on the subject of his largesse.
February 5th, 2008 at 6.45pm
that’s brilliant, R
February 5th, 2008 at 7.18pm
They are also the worst drivers in the world - I was in a coach (which was like something out of Carry on or On the Buses) and we were driving up into the Highlands, at top speed in the middle of the night and one of the wheels fell off - that was a bit hairy.
February 5th, 2008 at 8.00pm
blimey. actually, T and C said as much, too. I think we passed about 8 accidents on our way from KL to Penang.
February 5th, 2008 at 8.02pm
Dear Miss Andrea, well it all sounds very confusing to me - Malaysian cats are small but like to drive big cars, Michael Buble will only eat meat with a spoon, and Malaysian men like drinking whisky while playing with their plugs - no wonder you cant work out what is going on !!!
Hope all good !
M x
February 5th, 2008 at 8.05pm
…and don’t forget that those Malaysian cats are terrible drivers. nice to hear from you Matt!
February 5th, 2008 at 9.13pm
always difficult to get their paws round the gear stick - you would have thought that the car manufacturers would have worked out a solution for that !!!!