Archive for March 1st, 2008

Yesterday once more

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

As I just wrote in a comment to Vic, I don’t want to dwell on yesterday/the night before too much. But something struck me as I went down for lunch yesterday.

I found myself feeling incredibly subdued, and only responding quietly as I smiled and said hello back to people, and asked how they were.

And as soon as I caught myself acting like that, it suddenly hit me: I felt exactly the same way, was behaving in exactly the same way, as I did when I was bullied at school, at the age of 13/14.

And the behaviour of this person has been very similar to those bullies.

They’ve picked me not because of anything I’ve done; but probably because of what I represent, and because they needed a target. If I have upset them in anyway, then their behaviour is completely out of proportion in its anger and bile; and it’s just as childish and spiteful as that of the girls who picked me out all those years ago.

I guess that partly explains the huge shock at this happening: I haven’t experienced this for over 20 years.

And it also explains the muscle memory: which makes me subdued (those girls all those years ago succeeded in turning a confident, bubbly girl into a terrified shell of herself); and questioning what on earth I have done to cause this treatment.

But of course, with bullies, there’s precisely nothing one could do differently to avoid it happening. This would have happened whether I was, indeed, the “f****** b****” they seem to think I am; or Julie Andrews.

And there’s one crucial difference between me and the 13-year-old I once was.

Back then, I took on board every single criticism of me, whether justified or not. I wanted nothing more than for everybody to like me; and was terribly, terrifically upset if they didn’t. And as a result I did, indeed, let the bastards grind me down.

But now, I know that sometimes it really is other people that can have the problem - not you. Or, rather: me.

Especially if they don’t like Julie Andrews.

And so, rather like a bad dream, I now want to banish all thoughts of this. I don’t want to let this one event, this one person, be an overriding memory of my trip, nor undo all the goodness of all the other people I have met here.

In short, I want to draw a line underneath it all.

And here it is:

—————————————————————————————————–

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Three-minute wonderment

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

OK, so it’s 5am and I really should be asleep, BUT bear with me for some music geekery (the act of behaving like a geek, as opposed to geekiness, which is the state of being a geek).

At the end of the gig tonight, J the DJ put on this record.

Not at all jazzy, but when it’s that song, who cares?

I immediately rushed into the sound booth and cried: “I love that song!”

I haven’t heard it for years.. and for the life of me had no idea who it was by. Possibly Paul Carrack? Who knew…

And so J - who had immediately cried back: “Me too!” - looked it up, and we saw that it was by Andrew Gold.

Didn’t mean anything.

So I looked him up on Wikipedia, and whaddya know…

Andrew Gold is the son of Marni Nixon - the woman who I often bang on to people about, because she is one of the music world’s most unappreciated stars.

Marni Nixon supplied Natalie Wood’s singing voice in West Side Story… and Deborah Kerr’s singing voice in The King And I… and Audrey Hepburn’s singing voice in My Fair Lady.

And she was one of the nuns in The Sound Of Music.

But as if that revelation about Andrew Gold wasn’t enough…

He was also the man behind this hit:

Wax

- along with Graham Gouldman from 10CC. I had no idea (back then, when I was 16…). Gotta love that ’80s miming.

And while we’re at it:

Andrew Gold sang/wrote the theme tune to The Golden Girls (”Thank you for being a friend…”).

And this terrific song was his other big pop hit. Make sure you watch it through to the very last beat :-).

Mr Gold - I don’t say this lightly, but: thank you for the music.

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Lyric of the day: ‘The Way You Look Tonight’

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

To all my friends, wherever you are:

“Someday

When I’m awfully low

When the world is cold

I will get a glow just thinking of you”

And I did, tonight. (Just the way I gigged tonight). Thank you xx

And thank you, too, to whoever wrote this card tonight (well, obviously it was ‘Malik’, but whoever he is):

song card

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