Three things that don’t really happen in England
1. Swifts swoop over your head and skim the water as you’re swimming.
2. When working outdoors, the keys on your black laptop get so hot that you can only bear to touch them lightly, your fingers moving like feet over hot tarmac.
3. You get a dodgy tummy from eating spicy food two days in a row.
Actually, I guess the latter does happen in England. Just not to me.
