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Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible

I’m doing something which I haven’t done so far this gig, and not singing tonight. (As opposed to not singing when it’s my night off. That’s OK).

I’ve been feeling very, very tired lately - I don’t really know why - and yesterday started to feel the beginnings of a sore throat. So I pumped myself full of fruit and veg and Panadol and elephantine vitamin pills - but still awoke today to the feeling of having swallowed razor blades, and barely being able to talk.

Now, I’m pretty sure I haven’t been swallowing razor blades - although who knows, maybe it’s like sleepwalking? - and while I’m no doctor, I think we can safely say that I have what is known as a Coldus Communus, and now feel something like this:

Nick Frost

Hence not singing tonight.

Or talking to anyone today.

Verbally, at least.

I really hate to let people down, but if being able to talk means being able to sing (or if you’re the blonde one in ABBA, able sing before you can talk. According to ‘Thank You For The Music’, at least), then I doubt very much that I can sing today, even if I wanted to. And I certainly shouldn’t sing if I want to get better quickly.

So… I’m going to post this, rest all afternoon and then get an early night. In fact, not leave my room all day. In fact, not leave my bed all day. Except for, y’know…*

Which is tedious. But I don’t ask for your sympathy, oh no. Or even your money. I realise how lucky I am; and that this must be rather like being ill in a private hospital. I have room service; and a king-sized bed; and the following men to keep me company, should I need them:

Anderson Cooper

John King

Stephen Colbert

Jerry Seinfeld

Granted, none of them are trained medics, except in the dispensary of life’s finest medicine: laughter, and election coverage. Now all I need is a fluffy bathrobe, a box of chocolates, and a pair of pink mules. Housekeeepiiing!


*Checking my emails.

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10 Responses to “Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible”

  1. Rachel Says:

    Gute Besserung as some would say.

    At times I actually WISH for a cold so that I could have a day like that.

    That third bloke down looks like Steve Coogan

    R x

  2. John Q Says:

    Much sympathy.

    I’ve been off work the last 2 days with some horrendous cold. I took part in a concert doing the Rachmaninov Vespers on Sunday and had some cold symptoms then but soldiered on. I probably didn’t do my self any good by singing through. I had the shakes and everything. Even watching Dick Van Dyke in Diagnosis Murder seemed like a great way to spend an hour :)
    So you’re doing the right thing in not singing as you might not be able to sing for much longer if you soldier on.

  3. Andrea Says:

    ohh dear - much sympathy back, John. thats’ one powerful virus, if it’s traveled all the way from Northern England to Malaysia. via a computer. a computer virus, no less.

  4. Andrea Says:

    thanks too, Rachel.

    that ‘third bloke down’ is A God Of Comedy. Check out any of ‘The Colbert Report’ you can find online… he’s one of my heroes. really.

  5. Mel Says:

    Gargle and swallow with soluble asprin until it’s all gone. 2 every 4 hrs should do you.

    The asprin gets rid of the germs and relieves the throat.

    It’s worked a treat for me in the past!

    x

  6. Rachel Says:

    I swear by whisky, cloves, sugar and lemon juice with a dash of hot water.

  7. Andrew Marre Says:

    Just getting over my cold (imported to Canada by my step-daughter who brought it home from Mexico) which was not so much the throat as the chest. Being a sharing bloke, I have now passed it on to Irene who is suffering much worse than me, of course. Anyway, there is nothing like a cold for making you miserable - and nothing like Seinfeld for making you feel half-human. I was in a cafe yesterday where a cook was wearing a “No soup for you” T-shirt. Seinfeld fans will understand!

  8. Andrew Marre Says:

    Lemon and honey is good too

  9. John Q Says:

    I did a Big Band gig tonight and at the start of the night was still feeling pretty rough.By the end of the gig I actually felt OK. The restorative powers of music are not to be underestimated. It could also be that (wait for it) ‘Tunes help you breath more easily’ :)

  10. flights to new york Says:

    Very educating blog, bookmarked the web site in interest to see more!

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